Swaying from one side to the other, Jennifer stopped to take a breath and regain her balance. Her brain was telling her body to walk upright, with that strong, steady gait she had been so proud of. But somehow, that message didn’t reach her muscles because she kept on waddling like a duck.

As she looked down, she realized how uneven the sidewalk was. Every tile that was sticking out turned it into an obstacle course.

She stopped again and looked at her neighbor’s porch. A shadow quickly moved away from the front window.

When she finally reached the car, she had to hold on to it, to stay on her feet. Jennifer opened the door and swung herself into the driver’s seat. When she drove away, she already felt exhausted, and the day had barely begun. She wondered how well she would do at the audition.

NEIGHBORS
The people next door were old school. They didn’t say much, and when they did, it was usually behind her back. Much of the world was a mystery to them, and yet, they acted as if they knew everything.

For one, they thought that Jennifer was lazy, because she hardly ever left for work in the morning. They had no idea that Jennifer had a state of the art voice-over home studio.

Secondly, they were pretty sure that Jennifer was faking a handicap. One day, they had seen her walking with a cane. The next day, she seemed to be totally fine. Besides, she looked great.

Perhaps Jennifer was feigning disability to get money from the government. How else could she afford the mortgage? After all, she had no job and people abuse the system all the time.

The neighbors also knew something else: Jennifer liked a drink or two… or three. That would explain the swaying and the stumbling on the sidewalk. In short: Jennifer was a jobless, lazy drunk who shouldn’t even be driving. She should be ashamed of herself!

THE STAGGERING TRUTH
This week is MS Awareness week, and like many other people who suffer from multiple sclerosis, Jennifer was gearing up for the annual Walk MS event in May. She needed sponsors for the walk and she decided to stay close to home. Jennifer loved to bake and had an idea: she would go door-to-door with her delicious home-made cookies and raise funds for the event.

As the oven was heating up, she thought back to the last meeting of her support group. That night, they had discussed the many misconceptions surrounding MS.

Larry, the facilitator, warned everybody: “When it comes to a chronic illness like MS, if it’s not visible, it does not exist. In other words: as long as you’re not in a wheelchair, people tend to think that you must be doing alright.

Some folks think that MS is the result of a poor diet or negative thinking. In other words: you’re basically doing it to yourself. Eating healthy and an optimistic attitude alone could solve the problem. Wouldn’t that be lovely?

As you know, many MS symptom are silent; different people have different symptoms and some of them come and go. There’s poor coordination, fatigue, vertigo, visual disturbances, tremors, spasticity, weakness, slurred speech, unstable walking, sensitivity to heat… do I need to go on?”

POLLING THE PEOPLE
“When they surveyed people in the UK about MS last year, almost half of the respondents couldn’t name a single symptom. Others believed that MS was contagious or inherited and almost always fatal. None of that is true. Mind you, the people that were interviewed were from a cross-section of the population. They weren’t exactly uneducated.

So, on top of suffering from a nearly invisible autoimmune disease, people with MS also suffer from these myths and misconceptions.”

At that point, Carlos interjected. He had been a flight attendant for many years, until MS had him grounded.

“I always tell people: Even though I have this disease, it’s not who I am. I’m still the same person. I don’t want your sympathy. I want your understanding.”

SPONSORS NEEDED
While Jennifer was making her cookie dough, I thought of the things I could do raise money and awareness. I decided that it was time to re-launch my campaign for the Walk. It’s called “Giving a voice to MS”. This is how it works.

There must be people who’d love to have their favorite poem or short story read by a professional narrator. Well, when you make a donation to my Walk MS-team, you can send me a short script and I’ll record it for you as my way of saying “Thank You”. You can donate from anywhere in the world. For now, my campaign is geared toward the general public, but I’m willing to consider corporate sponsorships for more substantial gifts.

This year, my goal is more ambitious than ever: I want to raise at least $1500 for the fight to find a cure. Here’s where things stand. My campaign started at the end of last year, and thanks to the generosity of one colleague, I managed to raise 25 dollars.

Every amount counts, but I really need to step it up if I want to come close to my target. Please click on the MS-banner on the right, for details. Even if you don’t need me to record something for you, you can still make a donation.

FEELING IT
Have you ever wondered what it feels like to have MS? Singer-songwriter Kristie Salerno Kent was officially diagnosed in November 1999. She made a short film about living with MS. Please take a few moments to watch it. I think you’ll like her approach. Depending on your computer, you might have to turn the volume up a little:

DOOR-TO-DOOR
Let’s pick up Jennifer’s story where we left off. Her scrumptious chocolate chip cookies were ready and wrapped with an orange ribbon. Within the hour, she had sold almost her entire batch, and there was only one house left: the neighbors. On her last legs, she rang the doorbell.

“What’s up with you?” asked the neighbor. “It looks like you were hit by a truck.”

“Oh well,” said Jennifer. “It’s the fatigue. I’ve been going door-to-door to sell these cookies for the MS Walk…”

“I know exactly what you mean,” interrupted the neighbor. I get tired too. We all do. Just get some rest and you’ll be okay. Why are you selling cookies? Did you join the Girl Scouts?”

“It’s for people who want to sponsor my team for the MS Walk in May. You get three for a dollar,” said Jennifer.

“MS… that’s what Michael J. Fox has, right?” asked the neighbor. “He looks fine to me. Saw him on the Olympics a few weeks ago. Once an actor, always an actor.”

“I believe he has Parkinson’s,” said Jennifer. “I raise money for Multiple Sclerosis.”

“I’ll tell you what,” said the neighbor. “I just gave money to those people in Haiti, and I’m sure you’ll make someone else happy with these cookies for Multiple… whatever it is. Right now, my pizzas have arrived.”

As Jennifer walked back to her house, the guy from Domino’s made his delivery.

“Sir, that’ll be $18.98”.

“Here’s twenty five,” said the neighbor. “Keep the change.”

Paul Strikwerda © 2010
www.nethervoice.com

FACTS*
MS is a chronic, unpredictable neurological disease that affects the central nervous system.

Approximately 400,000 Americans have MS, and every hour someone is newly diagnosed. Worldwide, MS affects about 2.1 million people. Even though there is no cure, there are now FDA-approved medications that have been shown to “modify” or slow down the underlying course of MS. In addition, many therapeutic and technological advances are helping people manage symptoms.

MS SOCIETY
The National MS Society is the largest nonprofit organization in the United States supporting research for the treatment, prevention and cure of multiple sclerosis. Approximately 83% of Society income is devoted to research and service programs that enhance the lives of people with MS and their families.

WALK MS
Every spring nearly 300,000 people unite across the country to participate in Walk MS. All walks have an accessible route so people of all abilities can participate. Funds raised support the Society’s research and services programs. For more information click on the MS banner on the right, and visit walkMS.org.

Thank you so much for your support and for your donation!

*Source: National MS Society

And before you know it, you’ve talked yourself into something you’re not too proud of, but what the hay. A week later you open the local paper. Your destitute attorney won a major lawsuit, and he’s getting ten percent of a very nice six figure settlement. Meanwhile, you’re still waiting to get paid. Life is not fair….

Now, as the personal coach told you: in the face of adversity, some get bitter and some get better.  You’re gonna get better for sure. But how? How do you avoid getting ripped off by undercutting colleagues and clients that make Mr. Scrooge look like a philanthropist?

Here’s what you do: first you take a step back to analyze the situation. Come one…. pour yourself a nice glass of grape juice and read my latest article… It will only take you a few moments, and by the time you’re finished, you’ll know all about the research Antonio Rangel did that answers the eternal question: does an expensive bottle of Bordeaux taste better because of the price tag?

Cheers!

Paul Strikwerda ©2009

www.nethervoice.com

Stephen Fry will read: ‘Dudley had learnt a new word (’Shan’t!’).’

Jim Dale will say: “Dudley had learned a new word (”Won’t!”).”

Fry: ‘Would you care for a sherbet lemon?’

Dale: “Would you care for a lemon drop?”

Fry: he had hands the size of dustbin lids

Dale: he had hands the size of trash can lids

Fry: The rock cakes almost broke their teeth

Dale: The rock cakes were shapeless lumps with raisins that almost broke their teeth

George Bernard Shaw was right when he said: “England and America are two countries divided by a common language.”

I recently got a call from 20th Century Fox to translate a few songs for Wes Anderson’s new movie “The Fantastic Mr. Fox”, an adaptation of a children’s book by Roald Dahl. When Hollywood translates movies for worldwide release, localization is the name of the game. Some translators are good at it. Others…  smell at it! (yes, that was on purpose)

OOPS
Consider a simple word like “call.” Pick up Webster’s dictionary and you’ll find 15 definitions for the noun alone. Here are two actual mistranslations from movie and TV subtitles:

A priest explains, “That’s when I got my call from God.”

The subtitle reads: “That’s when God telephoned me.”

A general has to decide whether or not to bomb an urban target, and he says, “It’s a tough call.”

The subtitle reads: “It’s hard to make a phone call.”

NUMBER FOUR
Last month, my fourth audio book was released. When I had the final product in my hands, I remembered that I had had a less than easy time putting in a reasonable bid for the project. I’m obviously proud of my work, but it’s fair to say that I’m no Jim Dale or Stephen Fry (nor do I want to be). I am simply me, and the last time I checked, there’s only one of me on this planet. Believe me, that’s more than enough!

Unfortunately, this also means that I am bidding with the rest of you ordinary mortals when it comes to audio book narrations. Let me ask you this: do you always know what to charge? When looking at the budget range as proposed by the voice-seeker on, let’s say, a P2P, do you always feel that you’re looking at a fair compensation for your services? Or do you think that you’re being taken advantage of, when someone’s offering between $500 and $750 for 80 thousand words on the life and times of J.K. Rowling?

• What do you factor in when bidding on a project?
• Do you use voices.com, voice123.com or the Edge Studio rate cards?
• If you do, do you think these rates are realistic, optimistic, hopelessly outdated…?

For those of you interested in my “Chamber of audio book bidding Secrets”, I’ll tell you how I break down the process, step by step.  

Follow me…

If you are one of my regular readers, I’m sure you have noticed a shift in the past couple of months. Since I started my company Nethervoice, I have turned my Double Dutch Blog into an extension of my website. So, instead of having one platform in the blogosphere, I now have two: one at  VoiceOver Casting and one on my own site. I guess that’s part of  the “Double” in Double Dutch. VoiceOver Casting has been a great launch pad for me, and it will still be a place where I feel among friends. So, don’t worry… this is no goodbye!

However, in terms of branding, I think it’s important to have a clearly defined, single identity for Nethervoice. Much to my surprise, my blog has become an integral part of that identity. Since the start of my new site in July, thousands of new readers have found me, and that number is growing by the day. I have found a renewed passion for writing, and the journalist in me discovered opportunities to stir the pot of  all that’s cooking in the voice-over world. And if it’s up to me, I will continue to rock the boat every now and then… with your help, of course. This site is only as strong and relevant as our connections.

COMMUNITY

I firmly believe that a sense of community is more vital than ever. When the economy is doing well and there are plenty of opportunities, it’s easier to be more or less self-reliant.  But when the going gets tough, and when there are more talents and there’s less work than ever before, the pressure is on.

Let’s be honest. The voice-over market is pretty much saturated at this moment. You don’t need a degree in economics to realize that a greater supply in a weakened market can only mean one thing: tumbling prices.

The best way to speed this process up, is to have suppliers engage in a furious bidding war. Darwin would have named it: “Survival of the Cheapest”. Isn’t that exactly what is happening? And if you don’t believe me, why is it so hard to buy products that are not “made in China”? Before we know it, all of us will be replaced by speech synthesis technology. It’s almost as good as the real thing and I bet it’s a lot cheaper.

STRAIGHT TALK

A week or so ago, I had a long conversation with one of the people at a voice-over website that shall remain unnamed. I asked him why they were still posting $50 jobs on their site. He gave me two reasons:

1. It’s a free market; it’s not up to my site to set or uphold minimum rates
2. As long as there are people who are willing to do these jobs for $50, this site will post them. He then added: “Believe me, there are plenty of people willing to do these jobs for fifty dollars.”

Now, I could just filter these low-budget jobs out. End of discussion. But that does not solve the fundamental flaws in the system. If we leave things to market forces, we will end up with a “survival of the cheapest”, and in many respects, we’re already there.

The market has no morals. The market does not care about what is fair and reasonable. That’s precisely how and why we ended up in this economic crisis. And that’s exactly why there’s such a thing as a minimum wage (which is not even enough to sustain a family), and why governments all over the globe are proposing and imposing new rules, regulations and oversight.

I have a feeling that a lot of these low-budget jobs are snatched up by amateurs. Now, I don’t mind losing a job to a talented amateur. I do mind losing a job to an amateur charging 20% of my minimum rate, because for this person “it’s just a hobby”. Their voice-over work doesn’t need to pay for the mortgage, health insurance, college tuition, pension plans, car payments, groceries and so on and so forth. And by the way: most of these things have gone up while our rates are steadily going down.

STANDARDS

Any organized profession that takes itself seriously has minimum standards, it offers continued education, it does research to further the field and stands up for its members to make sure that they get paid a fair wage. What makes our line of work so different? Is it because so many of us aren’t unionized or otherwise organized?

Perhaps the instrumental word is “organized”. The question is: are we just a bunch of freelancing, every man and woman for him- or herself, and may the best win-group of people? In that case we are throwing ourselves into the hands of the lowest common denominator, as voice-seekers watch us fight over a $50 dollar bone. I think we could and should do much better than that. We haven’t gone to the dogs yet, or have we?

DOOM & GLOOM

Well, if you’re looking something a bit more lighthearted,  my latest blog might just do the trick… And if you happen to be a Cyril Ritchard, Peter Cook or Steve Martin fan, you’re especially in for a treat. A Dutch treat! What else did you expect?

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The icing on the cake was the release of my fourth audio book “Trial of the Mystic”. It’s a medieval mystery novel, set in a dark and devious monastery. It doesn’t get much better than that! Truth be told, not every week is like this… but I’m sure you know what that’s like. If it rains it pours. Some projects were a long time in the making.

Meanwhile, I discovered a wonderful way to use and promote my voice-over skills to a live audience.  It fell into my lap, a few weeks ago, and I highly recommend you give it a try… continue

The second thing I’d like to share with you, is my frustration with the overall quality of voice-talent on some Pay-to-Play sites. I hate beating a dead horse, but some things simply need to be said. And instead of whining about it, I believe I came up with a few unusual solutions to persistent problems. But let me warn you ahead of time. You might not like my ideas. But if we’d all agree, life would be quite boring, wouldn’t it? So, it’s time we talk about the amateurs pretending to be voice-over pros, and in particular about this question… continue

I once read that, worldwide, more money is spent on advertising than on education. It’s all a matter of priorities I guess… If the world wants 300 kinds of breakfast cereal, that’s what the world shall have. If our dogs are craving ice cream, we will make ice cream for our canine friends. If you don’t trust the water that’s coming out of your faucet, let’s put the same water in plastic bottles and sell it at a premium. Oh, the joys of capitalism…  ain’t that so, Mister Michael Moore!

Seriously, I believe Dale Carnegie was right when he wrote:

“The only way to influence someone is to find out what they want, and show them how to get it.”

Since the dawn of time, politicians, psychologists and the Mad Men of Madison Avenue have attempted to master the subtle art of behavior modification. And frankly, they’ve become quite good at it, haven’t they? Not so long ago, I was convinced that I could easily live without Twitter. Now they’re trying to tell me that my life will be completely meaningless without it.

Back in May, I did not have a Facebook profile. Some people claimed that this meant I didn’t  exist. Thankfully, my doctor assured me that I am very much alive.  Now I have to go and check my “Facebook Wall” ever so often, if only to find out that Stephanie Ciccarelli is making lasagna with garlic bread for dinner. You go girl! How about adding some nutritious veggies? And how’s David doing, by the way? Oh, I see, he’s getting the wine. What kind of wine might that be, if you don’t mind me asking? Red or white? I didn’t know they had Canadian Merlot… Well, here’s to the two of you. Cheers! Let’s tweet real soon. Maybe even during our next mixer!

Be honest for a moment. With all this technology at our fingertips, are we really more connected? We can see the polar ice cap melt on Google Earth, but do we care enough to make it stop? We used to go outside to feel the temperature. Now we look it up on Wunderground. In the olden days, I visited my parents ever so often. Thank heavens for Skype and webcams! I can stay home and still see them. How amazing is that! Is there a little bit of a disconnect, perhaps?

Anyway, this was supposed to be an introduction to my latest addition to the blogosphere about what exactly moves us. I got carried away. But for those of you who are interested in the extreme sport of Static Apnea, you’re definitely in for a treat. So, allow me to take you on a little trip to Europe, if I may… to an extraordinary historical event…

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Ideally, this is what I would like you to do: take a critical look at your current website and be brutally honest. If this were a shop, would you come in and stay for a while? More importantly: would you buy after browsing? And last but not least: would you come back for more?

I have looked at quite a few voice-over websites in the past couple of weeks, and you know by now that I wasn’t exactly impressed. Sometimes it felt like I was walking into the reading room of a library. A few of you felt inclined to respond to my comments and told me that they have no idea and no skills to turn their site into something special. Here’s the good news: you don’t have to be a brilliant professional website designer to bring some color to your online emporium. Once you make the big bucks, I would definitely go to a pro, but when I decided to create a new site dedicated to my voice-over work, I wanted to see what I could do on a very modest budget.

My site is by no means perfect and I’d be the first one to point that out. However, when I type the words “Dutch voice-over” into Google or Yahoo, I am very pleased with what I see!

And for all of you who are wondering how to kick your site up a notch, you should really check out… (continue)

My question to you is this: if you happen to have a personal website and you’re not getting any traffic, what’s the point? Give the money you send your Internet Service Provider to a worthy cause. That way, at least somebody’s benefiting from it.

On the other hand, if you’d like to know what you can do to boost the number of visitors to your corner of the Web, I invite you to read on

David and Stephanie Ciccarelli, the team behind Voices.com, gave me a behind-the-scenes look at where your submissions land, once they’re in cyberspace. In addition, a former casting agent gives his side of the story… You won’t believe what is going on with these “Mad Men” of the advertising industry!

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But here’s the thing: at the end of the day, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I’m getting kind-of spoiled working for this boss of mine. He can be quite demanding and perfectionistic, but he’s a cool guy and some say he has a lot of potential…

During the past couple of weeks, I have been looking outside of my (soundproof) box, and I read up on things like web analytics, conversion management and interception rates. That doesn’t make me an expert, but at least I know where to go for info. In the process I was forced to take a good look at past audition submissions, and if you’ve been reading my recent blogs, you know that I wasn’t exactly impressed by what I discovered. Luckily, I found out that I was not alone. My ponderings struck an alarming chord.

In a few days, readership of this blog skyrocketed to unprecedented heights, and colleagues and pay-to-play site owners alike, contacted me personally. Of course this hype will be over in a few days, but I’ll take it as long as it lasts. To quote Jim Dale on the show ‘Pushing Daisies’: “The facts are these”… it looked like three quarters of all my custom demos had ended in a place called nowhere, simply because the voice-seeker had never bothered to award the job to someone. Is that what I was paying my subscription fees for? Or was this only part of the story?

The investigative journalist in me decided it was time to explore the issue further. One of the first things I did was look outside of my profession for some answers. That’s what lead me to a man named John. You should know that John hasn’t exactly had an easy time during this economic recession.  It was all due to his profession…

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