For those of you who are looking for some real answers to the question: “What the heck just happened to my audition?“, there’s some good news. The big black hole I wrote about last time, might not be as big as we thought.
David and Stephanie Ciccarelli, the team behind Voices.com, gave me a behind-the-scenes look at where your submissions land, once they’re in cyberspace. In addition, a former casting agent gives his side of the story… You won’t believe what is going on with these “Mad Men” of the advertising industry!
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August 29th, 2009
“I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state or sovereignty, of whom or which I have heretofore been subject or citizen”.
Together with 66 other people from 31 different nations, these were the words I spoke in Philadelphia on the last day of July. With it, a six-year process came to an end. In less than a minute, this subject of the Kingdom of The Netherlands became an American citizen. My first order of business: filling out a voter registration form.
Prior to the ceremony, I went to Independence Mall to walk in the footsteps of the Founding Fathers. The famous crack in the Liberty Bell was a stark reminder of the fact that at a certain time in history, these truths were anything but self-evident, “that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”.
Looking at the world today, I was painfully aware of two things: for many, these truths are still not self-evident. For many others they have become so obvious, that they are taken for granted. Some have turned them into -as someone once put it- “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Crappiness”.
America’s most interactive history museum is only a few blocks away. If you’ve never been to the National Constitution Center, you’re in for an experience that will stay with you for a long time. This Center brilliantly manages to do what we as voice-over pros do for a living: bring words to life. Every visit starts with “Freedom Rising“, a multi-media presentation that connects visitors to the story of the U.S. Constitution. To my surprise, this production was narrated by a voice-over actor who’s actually there in person, and who served as tour guide on a historic journey.
In Signers’ Hall, I came face to face with the man who once said: “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn”, Benjamin Franklin. I know he wasn’t speaking about our line of work, but as far as I am concerned, he hit the nail on the head. Franklin was speaking about the ‘Narcissists’, the ‘Professors’ and the ‘Movers’ of our profession.
All of us have come across audio books narrated by people who seem to be so much in love with their own voice, they turn a travelogue into an ego-trip. The biggest turn-off in audio books: two lips of a narcissist.
The ‘Professors’, on the other hand, haven’t learned the following lesson: people don’t like to be lectured. People prefer to be entertained and engaged. That’s why movie stars make more money than Yale academics. The educational staff at the Constitution Center was obviously aware of that, when they hired ‘Movers’ to shake thing up a bit. ‘Movers’ are voice-over artists, who selflessly devote and dedicate themselves to the words given to them, and who use their voice as a vehicle to engage and move the audience. As a result, the listener is drawn in and drawn out; totally absorbed and involved.
‘Movers’ masterfully manage to infuse and energize dry letters on a page with meaning and emotion; bringing them back from the dead in a way a musician transforms scribbles into sounds. However, it takes a true artist to turn those sounds into music that touches the heart, feeds the soul and moves the mind. 
When I took the Oath of Allegiance, I became part of “We the people”; the people of a nation where Freedom of Expression is a constitutional right. The Citizen’s Almanac I received as a welcoming gift, describes it as follows:
“Americans can speak and act as they wish as long as it does not endanger others or obstruct another’s freedom of expression in the process”.
As voice-over artist, this freedom of speech guarantees that I can do what I love without fear of persecution or imprisonment. I can pursue my interests and happiness, as long as it does not interfere with the rights of others. For that, I feel tremendously privileged and grateful. Without it, all of us would be -as Franklin put it- “a sundial in the shade”.
© Paul Strikwerda
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A Sundial in the shade
August 2nd, 2009
If I were to make a top-ten of the hardest words in any language, this word would be my number one pick. It’s also one of the shortest. This simple sound has destroyed countless careers; it has propelled people into the depths of depression, and it has broken many hopeful hearts. It is the horrible, ugly word “NO”.
“No” is every salesperson’s nightmare. “No” has turned rejected lovers into vindictive maniacs. And -as any parent will tell you- “No” can turn the sweetest kid into a manipulative monster. In fact, this two letter word is so destructive; one could make a case for it to be banned from our vocabulary because of the damage it has done over the ages. But I can predict what our linguists would say to that: “No”.
Here in the States, the nation is watching another season of “America’s got talent”. I pity the three judges who have to sit through a never-ending parade of geriatric belly-dancers, tone-deaf Whitney Houston wannabees, drag queen contortionists and hip hoppers with egos bigger than their beefed up physiques. And all of them believe that they’re the next big act to hit the Vegas strip, worthy of a million dollars. All I can think of is: who opened this loony bin… and who is going to close it?
Yet, the people in our profession have something in common with these strange folks. We too, audition. We might not do it on national TV, but time and again we face the final verdict that could shatter our dreams into a million pieces. Or not. This is what I learned about rejection dejection.
The greatest disappointments are always well-planned. Yes, you’ve heard me: we are setting ourselves up for disaster. Expectation and disillusion are twins. Evil twins. The more we expect, the bigger the disappointment. Watch “America’s got talent” for a few minutes, and you’ll see the following tragic story unfold: a camera zooms in on a middle-aged librarian who’s showing all the obvious signs of a sedentary lifestyle. The talent tells the interviewer: “I’ve been blessed with a unique gift. Since the moment I took my first breath, I knew I was destined for greatness. I am definitely going to blow the judges away. This is the moment I have been waiting for all my life.”
He steps up to the microphone; introduces himself to the world, and starts rubbing his hands together. This better be good! The next thing we hear is a sound that can only be described as someone breaking wind to the tune of “America the beautiful”. Yes, we’re blown away alright!
The audience starts yelling; the judges hammer on their red buttons and moments later, our handy hero is crushed and crumbled under the weight of humiliation that will haunt him for the rest of his librarian life. 
Lesson number two: know your strengths! Small fish wanting to play in the big pond better bring something extraordinary to the table; otherwise the big fish will have you for lunch. One AGT-episode featured a self-professed ‘celebrity impersonator’. He was so bad that -even though he spelled out which impression he was going to do- no one got it. I know voice-over artists who make a decent living pretending to be someone else. Some of them are so good, it’s frightening… they sound even better than the original! But unless and until your impersonation is spot-on, don’t tell the world you’re the next big thing. People might get the wrong impression…
Lesson three: get a reality check (before going on reality radio). In other words: go for a second opinion. Get as many second opinions as you can. And please, don’t run to your mother for feedback. She’ll love you no matter what. That’s her job. What you need is an honest opinion. Go to a pro. Not one of those people who get paid to chat you up so you’ll enroll into some vague voiceover academy. A good coach will analyze every ounce of your talent (or lack thereof), and expose you for what you are. A great coach will also tell you what you need to do to improve. A superb coach will teach you the tricks of the trade.
Back to the show for lesson four: have a recovery strategy. I am still floored by how ungraceful some of the untalented are in defeat. They become defensive, they come up with excuses, they blame the judges… it’s always something or someone else, isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for positive reinforcement. But America’s upbeat culture of programmed positive praise has led to a distinct lack of self-awareness and humility. Thus, smiling small town hero’s turn into angry big town, big time losers when they hear the dreaded word “No”.
This begs the question: how should one prepare for possible rejection? Should we simply expect not to expect anything? That way, we won’t ever be disappointed. If you don’t strive to win, you’ll never lose. Could that be the answer? But what about our hopes, our dreams and aspirations? Isn’t life about taking risks, shooting for the stars and about being the best one can be? Had we been playing it safe, we’d still be staring at the moon, instead of landing on it.
Here’s the good news. There is an effective way of dealing with denial. It’s no magic bullet, but it will certainly keep you grounded. It is part of what I call my ‘Ultimate Auditioning Strategy’. I have refined it over many years, and I’d be happy to share it with you. Here’s the thing: this strategy works for any type of audition. I have taught it to musicians, stage actors, public speakers, job seekers, sports people and yes… to voice-over artists.
To learn more about my Ultimate Auditioning Strategy, click this button,
select “Blog” from the menu and read on!
Paul Strikwerda
July 26th, 2009
What’s the link between a rice beverage and voice-over work? In a recent “Taste the dream” contest, Rice Dream offered prize winners the chance to experience their dream job for 3 days. As you can see, the ad agency that came up with this campaign thought that our line of work qualified as a ‘dream job’, because they put a picture of a voice-over person on the milk carton. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love what I do for a living, but since the launch of www.nethervoice.com, I have received several emails, asking me for a reality check. Most of them go like this:
Dear Mr. Nethervoice:
I am James Kumbatani, the grandson of the late Mr. Oshia Bumbayashi, grand chief of the Olali tribe. Mr. Bumbayashi left me in charge of his personal fortune valued at seven million….
Sorry, wrong email. Here’s the one I was looking for:
Dear Mr. Strikwerda:
I am an aspiring voice over artist and my dream is to break into the business. People have told me that it’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you agree? What did you bring to the table that -in your opinion- gave you an edge over other voice-over professionals? Thank you for your time.
Penny Whistle
This is what I wrote back:
Dear Penny:
Great voice-over talents make what they do sound so natural and easy, no wonder why so many people believe anyone could pull that off in a heartbeat. In reality, voice-over artists are no different from other performers or athletes. When people hear a great pianist play or watch a well-know sports star at the top of her game, they usually don’t think of all the years these pros had to put in, in order to get where they are now. Long before I became a full-time voice over pro, I learned some things that -as you put it- gave me an edge.
1. Sight Reading: thanks to my mom, I’ve always been an avid reader. During my days as a news anchor for Dutch International Radio, I got used to reading last-minute news flashes and intros without skipping a beat. Today, I can print out a script, glance it over and take it into my sound booth and press ‘record’. A few minutes later, my demo is on its way to the client. If I’m working on an actual job, however, I apply a different strategy (see 3 & 4).
2. Foreign languages: growing up in Holland, I was exposed to many different languages and accents. I speak Dutch, English, German and some French & Portuguese. I also know some Latin and Hebrew. Unlike many Europeans, Americans usually aren’t polyglots, and I do my very best to take full advantage of that. Knowing how to pronounce unfamiliar names of people and places has been a great help in my career. Some clients like working with me, because I’m able to record the same commercial in four different languages.
3. Translating & Proofreading: I also work as a proofreader/translator, and I’m a professional nitpicker when it comes to scripts. Last-minute submissions often contain slips of the pen, and my clients are always grateful when I spot those mistakes and correct them. It shows them that I’m not just reading anything people put in front of me. It’s a great opportunity to show my clients that I care as much about their reputation as they do.
The other day, I was recording a Dutch commercial, and the director asked me to translate some last-minute additions right there and then. No problem! I regularly receive international copy that was translated with the help of translation software. That’s usually a BIG red flag! I often end up correcting the work of a robot before I start recording a script that was supposedly ‘translated’.
4. Journalism: as a former newscaster, checking my sources has become second nature. Sloppy copywriters have handed me scripts with incorrect website addresses, wrong phone numbers and even company names that were misspelled. I always verify the information provided, no matter how reliable the source. Another thing I do is research the company I’m dealing with. Not only does it give me a feel for the corporate culture, I also check in with the Better Business Bureau and research the reputation of a particular business.
A word of warning: even though a company might have a good BBB rating, things could still be fishy. A few months ago, I was approached by “European Immigration and Translation Consultants” in Florida. This company asked me to translate a birth and a marriage certificate. They received my work the very same day and they thanked me by writing out a bad check. Of course I ended up paying a fee to my bank. I asked for a money order instead, with the penalty added to the bill, but the agency refused. After some more detective work, I found out that the con-sulting company was run by a con artist who was wanted by the Canadian authorities. Of course I filed a complaint with the BBB, but the company never responded. All the bureau could do was giving them an “F” rating and close the case.
5. Here’s the last thing that I believe gives me a bit of an edge: my love of music. As an amateur musician, I developed a sense of rhythm, diction and melodic lines that is very helpful when it comes to getting into the groove of the music in a commercial or a narration. As a cornet-player and singer, I’m blessed with increased lung capacity and breathing support. Singing is great gymnastics for your voice. It’s a fun vocal cord workout that not only gives you the stamina to complete a long recording session; it also enhances voice projection, diction and flexibility. 
Penny, if you’d like to learn more about this business, I suggest you read Harlan Hogan’s “Tales and Techniques of a Voice-Over Actor”. In it, Harlan quotes Dick Moore of the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, AFTRA. Moore says that of the eighty thousand members the union represents, no more than a hundred people do most of the voice work. So, in order to stand out, not only do you need to be outstanding at what you do; you also need to bring something special to the table. There are thousands of hopefuls out there, and all of them believe they have a fantastic voice. Ultimately, it’s what you can do with that voice that makes all the difference.
Best of luck to you. Now I’m off to have a cold rice beverage. Cheers!
Paul Strikwerda
www.nethervoice.com
July 19th, 2009
Paul Strikwerda