For those of you who are looking for some real answers to the question: “What the heck just happened to my audition?“, there’s some good news. The big black hole I wrote about last time, might not be as big as we thought.
David and Stephanie Ciccarelli, the team behind Voices.com, gave me a behind-the-scenes look at where your submissions land, once they’re in cyberspace. In addition, a former casting agent gives his side of the story… You won’t believe what is going on with these “Mad Men” of the advertising industry!
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August 29th, 2009
If I were to make a top-ten of the hardest words in any language, this word would be my number one pick. It’s also one of the shortest. This simple sound has destroyed countless careers; it has propelled people into the depths of depression, and it has broken many hopeful hearts. It is the horrible, ugly word “NO”.
“No” is every salesperson’s nightmare. “No” has turned rejected lovers into vindictive maniacs. And -as any parent will tell you- “No” can turn the sweetest kid into a manipulative monster. In fact, this two letter word is so destructive; one could make a case for it to be banned from our vocabulary because of the damage it has done over the ages. But I can predict what our linguists would say to that: “No”.
Here in the States, the nation is watching another season of “America’s got talent”. I pity the three judges who have to sit through a never-ending parade of geriatric belly-dancers, tone-deaf Whitney Houston wannabees, drag queen contortionists and hip hoppers with egos bigger than their beefed up physiques. And all of them believe that they’re the next big act to hit the Vegas strip, worthy of a million dollars. All I can think of is: who opened this loony bin… and who is going to close it?
Yet, the people in our profession have something in common with these strange folks. We too, audition. We might not do it on national TV, but time and again we face the final verdict that could shatter our dreams into a million pieces. Or not. This is what I learned about rejection dejection.
The greatest disappointments are always well-planned. Yes, you’ve heard me: we are setting ourselves up for disaster. Expectation and disillusion are twins. Evil twins. The more we expect, the bigger the disappointment. Watch “America’s got talent” for a few minutes, and you’ll see the following tragic story unfold: a camera zooms in on a middle-aged librarian who’s showing all the obvious signs of a sedentary lifestyle. The talent tells the interviewer: “I’ve been blessed with a unique gift. Since the moment I took my first breath, I knew I was destined for greatness. I am definitely going to blow the judges away. This is the moment I have been waiting for all my life.”
He steps up to the microphone; introduces himself to the world, and starts rubbing his hands together. This better be good! The next thing we hear is a sound that can only be described as someone breaking wind to the tune of “America the beautiful”. Yes, we’re blown away alright!
The audience starts yelling; the judges hammer on their red buttons and moments later, our handy hero is crushed and crumbled under the weight of humiliation that will haunt him for the rest of his librarian life. 
Lesson number two: know your strengths! Small fish wanting to play in the big pond better bring something extraordinary to the table; otherwise the big fish will have you for lunch. One AGT-episode featured a self-professed ‘celebrity impersonator’. He was so bad that -even though he spelled out which impression he was going to do- no one got it. I know voice-over artists who make a decent living pretending to be someone else. Some of them are so good, it’s frightening… they sound even better than the original! But unless and until your impersonation is spot-on, don’t tell the world you’re the next big thing. People might get the wrong impression…
Lesson three: get a reality check (before going on reality radio). In other words: go for a second opinion. Get as many second opinions as you can. And please, don’t run to your mother for feedback. She’ll love you no matter what. That’s her job. What you need is an honest opinion. Go to a pro. Not one of those people who get paid to chat you up so you’ll enroll into some vague voiceover academy. A good coach will analyze every ounce of your talent (or lack thereof), and expose you for what you are. A great coach will also tell you what you need to do to improve. A superb coach will teach you the tricks of the trade.
Back to the show for lesson four: have a recovery strategy. I am still floored by how ungraceful some of the untalented are in defeat. They become defensive, they come up with excuses, they blame the judges… it’s always something or someone else, isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for positive reinforcement. But America’s upbeat culture of programmed positive praise has led to a distinct lack of self-awareness and humility. Thus, smiling small town hero’s turn into angry big town, big time losers when they hear the dreaded word “No”.
This begs the question: how should one prepare for possible rejection? Should we simply expect not to expect anything? That way, we won’t ever be disappointed. If you don’t strive to win, you’ll never lose. Could that be the answer? But what about our hopes, our dreams and aspirations? Isn’t life about taking risks, shooting for the stars and about being the best one can be? Had we been playing it safe, we’d still be staring at the moon, instead of landing on it.
Here’s the good news. There is an effective way of dealing with denial. It’s no magic bullet, but it will certainly keep you grounded. It is part of what I call my ‘Ultimate Auditioning Strategy’. I have refined it over many years, and I’d be happy to share it with you. Here’s the thing: this strategy works for any type of audition. I have taught it to musicians, stage actors, public speakers, job seekers, sports people and yes… to voice-over artists.
To learn more about my Ultimate Auditioning Strategy, click this button,
select “Blog” from the menu and read on!
Paul Strikwerda
July 26th, 2009
The Dutch have weird ways of expressing themselves. A popular proverb from this farm-filled flatland goes like this:
“You never know how a cow could catch a rabbit”, or in Dutch: “Je weet maar nooit hoe een koe een haas vangt”. Any idea what it means?
It’s a Netherlandish way of saying: never rule things out, no matter how unlikely they may seem. If you’re a linear and logical thinker, you probably have a hard time accepting this ancient wisdom. Your ideal world is one of conventional cause and effect. This principle is epitomized by a fast food philosophy that caters to people who prefer to play things safe. No matter where you go, a Big Mac always tastes like a Big Mac. It might be boring but at least it’s predictable (as is the indigestion after the fact).
SURPRISE
No matter how much we attempt to rationalize and organize this chaos called human existence, life responds by presenting us with unexpected surprises. To sports fans these unforeseen phenomena are known as curveballs; Mickey Rourke calls it his Oscar nomination, and we voice-over artists fondly refer to these unlikely events as “winning auditions”. You know what? I can do even better than that!
Not so long ago, I sent in a demo for a very corporate, very unexciting training program on ethical behavior in the work place. It was one of those things that everybody has to watch and nobody pays any attention to. Anyway, somehow the director thought I’d be a perfect fit for the part of ‘Euro-sleazeball’, and two days later I walked into his studio. Before I could say anything, a Carmindy wannabe escorted me to a make-up chair, and started powdering my nose.
A SHOCKER
“There’s my Dutchman” said the director as he spotted me. “Shouldn’t you be wearing your clogs?” The entire crew started laughing as if someone had said something funny. “We’re shooting in five”. “Shooting what?” I asked. “I’m here for the voice-over. And why is someone putting Max Factor all over my face?” “What voice-over?” said the pseudo-Spielberg. “I don’t need no voice-over. You’re gonna be on camera. Didn’t you see the contract… the one that has the word ‘sleazeball’ in it?” More laughter from the set. “But I haven’t memorized anything” I replied. “What do I do?” “Don’t worry” said the director. “Just be yourself”.
The facts were these… every time I send out an email, Outlook automatically includes a mini version of my headshot. The casting director had seen my message, and thought that I had ‘the look’ and he assigned me an on-camera part. And that’s how this cow caught his rabbit! With a little improv and help from the other members of the cast, I actually pulled it off and even had fun doing it. When the check came in the mail, I found out that the rabbit had been a fat one indeed.
So, what can we learn from this? First of all, that it does not hurt to include your headshot.
BRANDING
Now, I can’t tell you how many times folks just like yourself have told me: “I’m not putting my headshot in my profile. People don’t hire me for my looks but for my voice.” Well, I’m not going to argue with you. Even though it’s not in the Constitution, we have a right to remain invisible. However, the way we present ourselves to the world is part of our professional image. Should you decide to grace us with your face, you might want to take the following into consideration.
Many times, voice-seekers will see your picture before they listen to your demo. Does the quality of that picture reveal something about your level of professionalism? Some talents go for the “funny vintage look” and delve into their photographic memory. But what message does that overexposed ten year old Polaroid actually convey? And is that truly how we want the world to see us?
WYSIWYG
Whether we like it or not, people make a snap judgment based on first impressions. It happens in the court room, it happens on Match.com and it happens on voice-over websites. This has nothing to do with logic. In an ideal world it shouldn’t even matter, and yet it does. Many of us unconsciously subscribe to the motto: “What you see is what you get.” To put it bluntly: amateur picture equals amateur talent.
Ultimately, your headshot should reflect the message you want to send out to the world. I’ve seen pictures of colleagues staring at the camera with the look of a frightened dear in the headlights. Next to the photo was a description of their voice: “authoritative, confident and credible”. Another photo showed an unshaven guy in a sleeveless T-shirt. His voice qualities: “sophisticated and smooth”. Need I say more? I think you get the picture.
YOUR BEST SHOT
You don’t have to be a supermodel to look like a pro. The ideal headshot should show the best side of the Real You. It should ‘capture your essence’. The worst thing people could tell you is: “It’s a nice picture but it doesn’t really look like you”. So, if you never wear tons of make-up, don’t start face-painting before your photo shoot. If you normally wear glasses, keep them on. Minimize distractions like big ear rings and other jewelry. Pick a neutral background. Do not use bodyshots. It’s called a headshot for a reason.
A headshot is all about you. Here’s a hint: your ex should not be in it. Don’t be tempted to use that great shot taken when you were hanging out with your best friend in a local bar. A headshot is taken in a professional context and does not feature hard liquor. And finally, leave it to a pro to take and pick the best shot, NEVER to friends or family. They can’t see you the way others see you. That’s why they still love you…
Speaking of pros… if the cost of a photo shoot is keeping you from getting a headshot, this might be the ideal opportunity for barter. Photographers care about their image too. Many of them could use a professional voice on their answering machine. Perhaps they’re willing to trade. After all: you never know how a cow could catch a rabbit!
Paul Strikwerda
June 17th, 2009
Paul Strikwerda